This Is School Of Playing Solos I Encourage You To Play Solo Your Instrument Kubus.Kocha.Taylor.Swift@gmail.com Please Listen This Music With Head Phones (and DAC)
Becoming Proffesional Jazzman
Avoid public and dangerous places—like grocery stores—where the mafia lies in wait to shoot you in the ass with secret Russian magic pistols. And try not to order food for delivery. A musician begins to realize that his time spent "at home"—working at his laptop—is more valuable than sightseeing in some city; such trips are generally pointless and dangerous. Russian whores will do whatever they can to drive you out once they see you trying to settle in and succeeding at it. Here is some simple advice. Avoid campsites and hotels where just anyone might be staying right "BEHIND THE WALL" next door—people you know absolutely nothing about. These could be saboteurs with "FANCY SECRET TOYS" eager to ruin your artistic career or simply play a nasty trick on you. Try to live and work in private homes—though even those might be setups, full of traps and dangers. ;-) (Sounds ominous, doesn't it? In reality, you just need to look out for yourselves and watch your ass.) If you rent a room in a private house, you’ll obviously have to pay cash—since the landlady likely won't have a card terminal—but that’s actually better, as it keeps your location off the system's radar. ALWAYS PAY AT THE END OF YOUR STAY, AND ALWAYS TRY TO GET EVERYTHING IN WRITING—ON PAPER. That way, no one can just break the agreement with you on a whim. This is crucial. Any landlady and her husband will try to FUCK YOU UP anyway, but what happens when you get back from a gig or drop something online that suddenly gets 500,000 people across planet? That woman and her guy will lose their minds and—along with their local devil—try to kick you the fuck out. So remember: ALWAYS GET EVERYTHING IN WRITING. Remember, the POLICE are always on your side, so don't let yourself be intimidated by the POLICE or any of those weird stunts designed solely to kick you out because you're TOO GOOD and TOO NAIVE. Another rule: try to secure the best and most expensive place to stay right from the start. Also, try not to reveal your plans, and—unless you're spineless pussy—try traveling without your fucking iPhones or any mobile phones that give away your current location to THE SYSTEM. Unless, of course, they’ve already assigned you a SYSTEM RUSSIAN for protection who also works for the RUSSIAN MAFIA OR JUST HIMSELF—so watch out! These rules apply to every country in the world.
Now, a bit about what I’m up to. Lately, I’ve been intensively trying out the MuseScore program to compose drum and bass backing tracks. It’s a shame I don’t have my bass guitar with me right now to record the bass parts myself. Those synthesizer backing tracks sound terribly artificial and plastic, whereas a real bass is vibrant and creates a lively background and foundation. Keep that in mind. But for the moment, these are just experiments—I’m not even putting that much effort into them; I’m simply playing around with MuseScore. Judge the results for yourselves. Jazz isn’t music for idiots. You have to really listen to it—using good equipment and headphones—to feel the flow and hear how all those dissonances play out. Jazz is a game of dissonances; notices the lack of dissonances and the music just flows beautifully. It’s the dissonances, errors, and imperfections that tend to grate on the ear. I serve up plenty of those. I hope you’re having a good time. Please be understanding of me and of Jazz.College. Artists are always a bit eccentric, but that doesn’t mean they should be shunned or fought against. Thanks i Namaste.
The future of Jazz College involves combining free live performances for spontaneous audiences with session recordings. If live drums are played, they won't be captured on my RC-600—but that might actually be for the best, since a drummer might make mistakes, and I also want the option to record better drum tracks in the studio later. Besides, I don't feel like setting up drum microphones—which I don't even own yet, anyway. For small, improvised gigs, all you need is a single compact speaker and an amplifier. For larger performances, nothing extra is required; everything is already there, just waiting for your jazz. Good luck.
I strongly urge Taylor Swift to become an active part of the Jazz.College community, encouraging musicians to learn how to play their instruments as soloists. The world needs good drummers and bassists above all, but also trumpeters, pianists, and harpists. The problem with all you assholes is that, even if you are professionals, you don't see yourselves as solo artists. Jazz.College is here to inspire you and set you on the right path. Taylor Swift will soon start playing jazz, and her musicians will show you for what come on, I hope. Taylor baby, you can even directly shit posting about Jazz.College please. Kiss me honey.
If you record solos on your instrument that are worth sharing, I invite you to become a professor at Jazz.Collage and showcase your material here in a "simple trio" format: a metronome, a bass loop, and you doing your thing. Just plug in and play.
Today's morining I was poisioned by probably evil Ukrainan maid who actually looks like guy not woman. She probably used some gas or spreaded liquid with atomiser in hall what enterd my room via main door's gaps. If you wanna play Jazz you have to know that it's quite dangerous nowadays to just play or record music, especially if you are doing this very good. Because they are spying on everyone, it's kind of Nazi deal these days and those hidden russians does not like when anybody doing whatever without their order. So if you want to play LIVE music or even being part of Jazz.Collage you have to ask lokal "Adolf Hitler" for permission to do that. This can be KGB or Police or Local Military Guy. This should work but you have to be friends and even then lot of other shit can happend because you know: no Nazi Russian Mob likes any musician but their own little daughters. It's shitty deal but all world is well ass fucked this way. Even if you are artist musician you have to ask Russian Military Police Mob to just stay fuck off, please. Or hey, let's pretend that we are friends or let's be real fiends indeed so I can record some music and not having flu once a week because you Sovets have to rule your little planet and taking direct orders from people who know shit about situation and just want to rape you by tell you to fuck me or any other active musician publicing his/her music on the internet. My suggestion is to kill your EGO don't do your stupid orders and let other people just have fun without nazi, kgb, police checking all you can and act in whatever way just to act. I am telling this also to the local independent mob who simply likes to fuck everybody they can realizing evil ideas of local mobster boss. It's just examples. I just want to fix world and tell other people and real artists musicians what they will facing in Jazz.College and the future. Have a nice day everyday and let's be friends always. Remember: Musicains are always friends and good musicians are good friends! Please! Let's keep it this way and let's hope those wild evil monsters who knows shit about YOU and this website can read in english or please can YOU instruct them to be very nice TO EVERYBODY if you are so kind? And I got two good songs for you as present: Alanis Morissette - Head Over Feet & AC/DC - House Of Jazz.
